Tag Archive | biding my time

Fall Girl

Apparently my injury from my fall was visible in more way than one, which I am glad I know now. There is a lovely hematoma on my left ribs, and the radiologist is still not sure if I didn’t crack my orbital a little, but nothing more than a hairline fracture if at all. They might call me back for a CT scan this week because of the pressure and migraine I have had. There’s a lot of stuff up there that could be some kind of issue that isn’t visible on X-Ray.
Who knew you were still at risk for weeks after a concussion?! Not this girl.
I guess I am nowhere near the top of the learning curve here, which is okay. That leaves lots of room for improvement, and that’s hopeful.
My doctor recognized how stubborn I am about pain and going to the ER and gave me her cell phone number instead so I can text her with new problems and verify if I actually need to go get help, and so they can call her from the ER and figure out what to do with me. She even gave me painkillers without my asking! They absolutely don’t do anything for the pressure/migraine/spinning/eye issues, but help a good deal with the hematoma pain, although to be honest, I could probably continue to tough that out without anything, but on top of the migraine it’s hard to even smile without a little help. I had to do laundry and ended up sitting on the concrete for twenty minutes, everything spinning, trying not to panic or sob because no one else was home. I’m pretty sure I even put my face on that dirty floor, hoping I could cool off the fire in my head, but don’t tell anyone.

When I went to get my X-Rays and told the girls checking me in what had happened, how long I had held out before going into the doctors for my pain, I ended up with three techs clucking over me because just the twisting and odd movements I had to do for skull and rib X-Rays left me breathless, sweating buckets, and with ice cold hands, arms, feet, and legs. I get so embarrassed when my autonomic issues take hold, and I know I can’t stop it unless I sit or lie down for an extended period of time. I try to push through it, knowing that I never have the time to lie down like that. Soon enough I was back in the car, and my doctor called me with the results from the lab before I even made it home. She is awesome, did I mention that?

I have had zero energy, either cognitively or physically, lately, but am in a much, much better mood. What I have learned is that though my mood plays a role in the aggressiveness of my pain, or my perception of my pain, one of the two, mood doesn’t seem to have much effect on measured pain levels for me compared to the severe level of agony I experience during a flare. Being in a good mood despite severe pain is somewhat of an oxymoron. But it is possible, just not with the expectation that we will be happy 100% of the time.

Having a hematoma this large is a new experience for me, especially in a place you can’t avoid moving and twisting just to roll over in bed! Oh man, does that hurt! And it rolls around my ribs so that the pain can be in my back on just one side, or on both sides, or seeming to emanate from my spine itself.

can't sleep

 

I’m going to buy some cell salts from Hylands, one of the 12 preparations (Calacarea Phosphorica 6X, #2 Hylands 500 Tabs) is supposed to hopefully double my healing time. I have been taking Boiron Arnica 30C Pellets (3 tube pack)
internally, but it does not seem to be working its usual magic on this big ugly bone bruise.

Still wish I knew what I hit when I fell. Then again, I still have my eyes and my teeth, so I will settle for that being a victory considering such an epic fall in the pitch dark!

The lesson in my story is pretty simple, and something I feel most people have a better grasp of than I do: I am still supposed to go to the ER for trauma, even if it doesn’t directly seem to hurt. Even if it’s all too easy to blame fibro or CFS or spine damage and suffer in silence (well, not silence… but as far as my primary care knew), rather than go to a doctor. Especially with head trauma, what you see is not what you get!

 

Follow me to Pinterest!

I have a confession, you guys:

I’m not proud of my addiction, but none-the-less, over five thousand people have chosen to enable my habit by following my Pinterest account, which I feel is basically a haphazard repository of my soul; the old me and the new me un-self-consciously coexist there, pinning images about chronic illness, gardening, art, preserving food, DIY beauty and health, style and materialism, homesteading, body image, a highly anticipated and hoped for future kiddo, and all my other dreams, projects, and ambitions.

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I have over 30,000 pins since joining in 2011. Yes, I am ashamed! Yes, I know how much could I have actually accomplished in that time! A lot, probably, But when my brain was nothing but a pile of mush for over two years, Pinterest actually helped me live slightly more in the moment, it helped me make new connections in my mind and learn new skills, as well as taught me to dream about things beyond this second and the severe pain I feel. Pinterest in all it’s soul-sucking glory has been incredibly inspirational, and allowed me to feel like I am still putting creative energy out into the universe even when I don’t have the brain power or the physical ability to begin a craft or art project.

More importantly now, it has allowed me to visually document ideas for the future, get ideas for blog posts, and learn how to make pretty much anything from scratch! Recently I have slowed down my pinning, and now spend more time making sure links actually work and deleting ugly dresses on my street style board. But I am still very active there and will remain so as long as it is even a mild creative outlet for me during my worst times. I refer to it often for herbal remedies, recipes, DIY project advice, and just for the sake of aesthetic beauty in general. I cannot count the number of times I have tried my hand at various pinterest projects, not always successfully, either! 🙂

Funny though it sounds, looking at other artists’ work, finding new bloggers to follow, and meeting so many other chronically ill people on Pinterest gave me the confidence to start dreaming in color again before I even had the blog; to visualize future art projects, to not be afraid of new symptoms, to think of small business ideas, and to start my new life as a blogger, an artist, and a whole, happier human being in the face of chronic illness. Not that the site did anything for me that I couldn’t have done on my own with more effort, just that I was enjoying the company of others again, using technology as a tool for reaching out to people with similar interests at a time when words were failing me.

If you’ve got lots of time to spare, can’t find the words to express how your chronic illness has effected your life, are lacking in inspiration for a project or event, or if you want to know what to do with something instead of throwing it in a landfill, come on over to the Pinterest darkside, and don’t forget to follow me while you’re at it! Please don’t hesitate to say hi while you’re over there.

If you have a post with an image that you think would drive traffic to your site, I am happy to pin any of my fellow bloggers’ work to my Chronic Illness board, which has many, many more followers than this blog! Just drop me a comment below and a link to the post and the picture you feel will help bring people to your website. I’m happy to do multiple pins for blogs too! I know how helpful it can be to have a few links to your blog circulating around Pinterest. Wouldn’t it be nice if pinning was a job? Seriously, I would rock the hell out of that for a company’s social media department!

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chiaricontinues

chiariwife. chronic pain. awarness.

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