A Book for Moms With Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses!

I know I haven’t been around in a while and I’m very sorry, life has been so crazy and my typing and thought process so poor that I’ve been taking an unintentionally long break. I have been writing every now and again, but mostly on Tumblr and Instagram, and sometimes for images I make in photoshop. Maybe I should post all those soon? I have also written about thirty drafts on WordPress that have been eaten, gone unfinished at the last minute, or that I am too embarrassed to post right now (and maybe ever). I will get back into the swing of things slowly but surely in the next month.

But, for now, I was stumbling through Amazon, and found this book and it just about made me burst into tears. I want kids so badly but because of EDS pregnancy dangers, my family history of Spina Bifida occulta and neural tube defects, the strong possibility that I have the MTHFR gene mutation, and a bunch of other factors, including a total phobia of doctors (I can’t even get into that on here or I will freak out and lose my relative calm for how much pain I am in and the fact that it’s 3:30am).

Though I want children desperately, what I really want and desire above a biological child is to adopt. I’ve always wanted to adopt. There will always be kids out there right now who need families. It seems so against my values to selfishly have a child via birth when I know there is little chance that child will not suffer like I do, and when I know that my ability to be a good parent to a very young child is never going to be strong enough. The thing is, I have a lot of love to give and knowledge to share, if not a lot of physical ability. Unfortunately, I will still struggle with very basic mom things, like shopping for clothes, or food for that matter, or taking them places at all, and cleaning isn’t getting any easier or more feasible lately though I try really hard. I’ve always wanted to be the perfect mom, but I think a large part of chronic illness is accepting that even healthy people don’t live up to that, therefore I certainly won’t.

I will be a good mom, I think, but I will have to work really freaking hard at it, and it will take everything that I have to give and more. Even if I do adopt a child, I am worried that I will feel like a failure as a mom no matter how much I try to cut myself slack for what I can’t control.

Seeing this book helped me a little. Knowing others are struggling with this, and that enough people even to sell a book about it.

Has anyone actually read this to their kids or bought it for themselves/future reasons? I hope there are more books like this out there by the time I am able to foster or adopt.

Why Does Mommy Hurt? by Elizabeth M. Christy

Why Does Mommy Hurt?: Helping Children Cope with the Challenges of Having a Caregiver with Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, or Autoimmune Disease

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About Jessi Finds Out Fibro

Hi, and thank you for finding your way to my corner of the web! I'm on a journey to empower myself and hopefully others through shared courage and compassion. I write Finding Out Fibro, a chronic illness and chronic pain awareness blog that is not just about fibromyalgia, as well as a new project making jewelry under the Etsy name Hopeful Spoon. Please check out the shop and share if you can! Thank you for your support! My other hobbies include defeating ableism anywhere I find it, upcycling old junk into funky awesomeness, raising my voice to erase stigma against invisible illness and mental illness, baking, collecting vintage kitchen ware, sharing body-positive messages, playing around in photoshop, abstract painting (especially in neons and metallics!), advocating for those living with chronic illnesses and mental health challenges, seeking safety and upholding visibility for LGBTQIA individuals living with physical and mental disabilities, researching and testing plant-based remedies for chronic pain, and spending all my spare spoons in my veggie garden. This is my opportunity to do more than just survive with chronic illness. This is me learning how to live well, even though there is no cure for the war my body is waging on me.

3 responses to “A Book for Moms With Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses!”

  1. Sheila Robles says :

    Wow, I can’t believe that some wrote a children’s book about Chronic pain and Fibromyalgia. That is amazing. I have 2 kids and as they got older and didn’t need their naps, it was hard for me to say that Mommy needs one! With time and explaining, they began to understand that I was ill, even if you can’t see it, and that I do the best I can, and most of all, that I love them more than anything. If given a choice between cleaning the house, or spending time with my kids, my kids win every time. Now clutter is a whole other issue. With the best of intentions, I buy things, or keep things to organize or create something, sometimes it happens, sometimes not. Be happy with what you accomplish, and let the UFO’s go (unfinished projects) go. It’s like love, set it down, and if t a later date it inspires you again, it was meant to be, if not, donate it or toss.;)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jessi Finds Out Fibro says :

      ❤ ❤ ❤ during a day when all the comments pouring in to me were of people, real people with real families and real pain and real lives that really matter, being treated so horribly in the Emergency Room, I needed your happier comment to take the edge off. Raising kids, two kids, while suffering from chronic pain, is a HUGE amazing brilliant thing, and I am totally inspired that you did it in a time when no one else was going to help you explain it to them. Go mom! ❤

      Like

      • Sheila Robles says :

        Wow, thank you so much. I was diagnosed 18 years ago, and it has been an up hill battle. Know your not alone, and you can still accomplish extraordinary things despite your illness. You’re a fighter!

        Liked by 1 person

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