Ever-Elusive Sleep on a Bad Pain Night

I wish I could sleep.

This pain leaves me in limbo,

No rest makes me slow.

Yep, that’s what you get at  4am. I have been in so much pain. I know it’s temporary, but it would be more temporary if I could get to sleep at any point during one of these flare ups. Going on day three for the third time this month in which I have not been able to sleep more than an hour or two… that’s a third of my nights this month! Plus, I cannot nap. Totally incapable of it unless I’m beyond sick.  There are a million things that are on my schedule tomorrow. I want, need, demand some sleep before I have to face another day in this much relentless pain.

I hope against hope that everyone else is enjoying some actual sleep with much less pain than this. I am sending you extra spoons, just in case. I won’t be able to function anyhow, so I’m happy to give them away to a good home!

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

About Jessi Finds Out Fibro

Hi, and thank you for finding your way to my corner of the web! I'm on a journey to empower myself and hopefully others through shared courage and compassion. I write Finding Out Fibro, a chronic illness and chronic pain awareness blog that is not just about fibromyalgia, as well as a new project making jewelry under the Etsy name Hopeful Spoon. Please check out the shop and share if you can! Thank you for your support! My other hobbies include defeating ableism anywhere I find it, upcycling old junk into funky awesomeness, raising my voice to erase stigma against invisible illness and mental illness, baking, collecting vintage kitchen ware, sharing body-positive messages, playing around in photoshop, abstract painting (especially in neons and metallics!), advocating for those living with chronic illnesses and mental health challenges, seeking safety and upholding visibility for LGBTQIA individuals living with physical and mental disabilities, researching and testing plant-based remedies for chronic pain, and spending all my spare spoons in my veggie garden. This is my opportunity to do more than just survive with chronic illness. This is me learning how to live well, even though there is no cure for the war my body is waging on me.

11 responses to “Ever-Elusive Sleep on a Bad Pain Night”

  1. Moongazer says :

    ((((hugs)))) I feel your pain and frustration. I have to resort to meds of some kind. Either from the dr or the over the counter ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jessi Finds Out Fibro says :

      *hugs back* I wish I could take them, but I can’t relax enough to hit that window of time. And the funny part is that my current sleep medications perform double duties as one or two skeletal muscle relaxants, and then a dose of clonazepam for spasms and long-term anxiety control. Those *should* always send me to sleep, and often I do fall asleep in what my boyfriend has deemed “less than 10 seconds” and I never have any memory of laying down or drifting off the sleep anymore. I either am out, or I’m up. Up all night used to mean productivity and crafting, now it means pacing the house, trying not to scream, smoking when I can’t take it anymore, and rubbing herbal salve I make myself absolutely everywhere to try to quell the sickening levels of pain. Definitely the opposite of productive. Definitely not by choice. I keep hoping I will hit a productive night owl period again, because I need it now trying to start a business and keep up with the blog enough, and trying to help out another family as they get started with their little one. I love my form of ‘work’ now, but it’s still not comfortable to do this instead of earning of living. This is the best I can do, and I can’t even do this most days, so even if no one around me understands and thinks I’m lazy, I know I’m employed with overtime on the job of being chronically ill and trying to stave off flare ups.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jessi Finds Out Fibro says :

      Also, out of curiousity, which ones work best for you to sleep through the night?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Moongazer says :

        I’m in the UK so you might need to look them up for different brand names etc.
        The one I get from my gp is called Zopiclone and according to the leaflet that is actually the name of the drug.
        This is working SO much better for me now I have all the other meds out my system. The biggest drawback is you can get used to it after a few weeks so you need to take a long break so i try and get a sleep pattern back with this one. It doesnt always work lol.
        The one I buy over the counter is called Nytol and its basically the stuff that’s in the cough medicines that make you drowsy, but its double the amount in a dose of the cough medicine.

        Like

      • Moongazer says :

        You could also try magnesium supplements (high strength) as that helps to relax muscles. There is also a supplement called GABA which is known as natures valium lol but get the kind with vitamin B6 or it doesnt work half as well. That helps relax muscles too. I have to chop and change

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My neck is giving me a headache says :

    Poor baby. I know the feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sailingpenguin says :

    I hate bad pain nights, they are certainly not pleasant and tend to make everything so much worse. Hopefully you will be able to get some sleep soon. Thank you for sharing your spoons, I wish I had a drawer full that I could send your way for when you are able to function again.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Undiagnosed Warrior

Be brave, little fighter. There's a warrior within you.

moderndaywarriorprincess

Because All Women are Princesses & are Stronger Than We Ever Knew

Quinn's Cauldron

The Traditional English Witch, Rowan Quinn

Hypermobility Syndrome India

information and narrative

iamchronic

Writing Through The Tragedy And Terrible Beauty Of A Life In Chronic Pain

No More Silence. Speak Out Against Domestic Violence.

Silence Enables Violence. Find Your Voice.

Hannah's Battle to Breathe

Living with a chronic illness: the ins and outs

highwaytohealingblog.wordpress.com/

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."- Anais Nin

%d bloggers like this: